Friday, January 14, 2011


I have started a new...well....a...
new blog i suppose.
I have a cooking bone.
or something of the SORTS.
I wanted to just throw out some things i like eating.
i know, i keep asking the same thing.
but life is full of distraction.
that is the point.

I have been hurtin.
pain, real soft though.
no need to fret (self speaking)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

A letter from Lloyd to Lisa

Dearest Lisa.
The weather was nice hear today. I couldn't believe the amount of sparrows overhead on our walk to the beach. It's magnificent what the world has to offer to onlookers such as us. Two kids now, can you believe it?
Funny how time seems to just slip out from underneath us.
I have had a weight.
And yes...I KNOW that this might sound so simple, even silly.
But, where are you?
I feel your emptiness,
I feel the void between where we were, and where we are.
I want to fill it, to make it go.
To remove ourselves from its terrible presence.
Alas, my love, i cannot.
here we lie.
I ask forgiveness if it was i who brought down such a drought.
Such a terrible disaster.
I have never wanted anything more than i want this.
you, my love, are eternal.
There is a darkness.
You are a light.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

mind ful.

The days are getting started so early.
I can't help but think that theres a reason behind it.
Jonathan Safran Foer's:
Eating Animals &
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
have been two great books that i have enjoyed as of late.
Currently listening to:
JJ - no. 2
Damien Jurado - St. Bartlett
The National - High Violet
The Carpenters - Christmas

ANY IDEAS for Christmas Cheer?
get made

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

yeah, i want to dance. but not now.

I keep having this theme.
or a thought i spose.
oh heaven.

I just need to jump further from where i was.
"I will start again tomorrow" i'll say.
"oh it's nothing, really, it isn't" i'll declare.
but no.
I WILL NOT dance like this for you.
I won't do it any longer.
Oh the nerve of that guy!
yes the nerve.

I just want to say...
listen pal, if i don't owe you money.
well then... i really don't owe you shit.
but oh how terrible the sound of your own voice,
discussing with such anger in your tone.
i wish i could recreate it.

age 7:
oh perfect a playhouse,
a simple red popcicle.
oh thats kind of you joshua.

age 12:
"STOP! i dont need your help"
"I wish i could change that, but i can't"
simplicity with complex emotions, everyones fault but your own.
I can't expound.

age 18:
how sweet the taste of my first grapefruit alone,
condemned in a small 2 bedroom apartment,
clash posters on the wall.
Freedom without father.
Humor in the way the boy walked,
or the shoe color,
or the oil spill.
all too simple.

age 22:
what a day,
no, really, what a day
next morning
Who is that? (internal)
Boy oh Boy have i pickled it this time (external)
no, no, not you...its me.

age 26:
take comfort in the fact that you have something to think.
your mind is your own.
Blame is so selfish now.
It should have always been,
but NOW!!! now, now it is.
and forever will be.

quite the breakdown here.
I have no reason to say this but for the mere fact that i must.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

TAKE this and then take it again.

Evan (Guitar, Kick Drum player)
has taken over this tour's blog.
he has a knack for writing.
so listen up.
you can follow us on this amazing

love to death
death to life.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

TOUR, entry 3 by evan the sister of mercy

Our third and final day of driving to the first show has taken us up into the remote reaches of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, or “The U.P.” And though on a map it looks like it should belong to Wisconsin, or even Canada, you can see why Michigan would want to reach over and claim it for itself. Frozen lakes pocket dense forests that enforce a peaceful silence over the land with their sentries of ancient trees. During a roadside stop our delighted hollers echoed and disappeared into the ranks of gray trunks.

After stocking up on replacement fuses for our van’s power inverter and bakery outlet bread for our daily sandwiches, we made our way to Marquette’s lakeside downtown. There we found a music store with instruments in the window but nowhere inside, and a recording studio in an historic house-turned-strip-mall that we unfortunately had no time to cut a song in. On the lakeshore the discussion inevitably turned to the strange blend of emotions we were experiencing at the thought of opening for a band we grew up listening to.

Tonight’s show was quite the way for our first-time tour manager to jump in and learn how to swim. First of all, the water in the analogy would be frozen as the venue turned out to be a hockey arena. The show’s coordinators were somehow completely unaware of our inclusion in the night’s proceedings and we were banished to a less-than-pleasant smelling locker room with nary a bottle of water to quench the thirst of our dry, open hanging mouths. Any tour’s first night is going to be a hectic, but this has seemed particularly haphazard. Katie, Third Eye Blind’s tour manager, also a first-timer, would later ask, “Does anyone do this more than once?”

During load out, I realized my guitar was conspicuously missing from our gathered gear. No one in 3EB’s crew had seen it or had any idea what might have happened to it. But we did. The hired help that assisted us in removing our instruments from the stage seemed to be comprised of students from the university putting on the show, who probably assumed that every piece of equipment laying around belonged in one of the two semi trucks traveling with the show. Though the fellow supervising their loading maintained that the crates holding guitars were full and couldn’t possibly be holding mine, he let me investigate. “But you gotta go now—we’re about to close her up.” Scrambling over bicycles, boxes of t-shirts, and the disassembled stage, I reached the front of the carrier where the guitars were kept. There, sitting on top as if waiting for my rescue was the misplaced instrument. Holding it aloft, I gingerly picked my way over the uneven terrain and rejoined my band mates in the van.

A rocky start to be sure—it was also our first proper tourdate with our newly configured trio, which demands most of our spare limbs, and all of our concentration, to make up for the lack of a drummer. Everyone, including us, seemed to be getting a feel for things. But we enjoyed sending our unpolished sounds out over the board-covered ice, and getting to know our tourmates whilst joining them on their bus for a toast. Our lovely couch surfers for the night had a pet bunny that was trained and as soft as they come. As I drifted off I knew we were only going further down the rabbit hole, but I imagined it belonging to a furry friend like him, and the thought was quite comforting.

Tour ENTRY 2. by evan

Everything had been going well today. We secured a place to stay with family friends in Minneapolis while driving north without a set destination for the night. Casino billboards peppered the drive with moments of amusement:

“Voted sexiest casino in the Midwest!”
“Come Gamble, Get Free Buffet!”

We were nearly enticed by these siren calls, but managed to stay the course. Upon arrival, the smell of baked goodies, one of our gracious hosts, and Emily, a deaf, floppy-eared Collie, all emerged from the house to welcome us.

We set up shop in the kitchen with our trusty new travel-sized food processor, the centerpiece of our plan to eat healthily yet affordably this tour, and whipped up batches of hummus and salsa for dinner. (If you have any food processor recipes that don’t require refrigerated ingredients, please submit them below.) After finishing off with some chocolate chunk brownies, everyone was quite satisfied. Except Joshua—it was no sensation of contentment warming his belly: “Does anyone else’s stomach hurt?” A trio of shaking heads answered.

Our efforts to dismiss this disturbance to the evening’s enjoyment as a case of simple indigestion were soon abandoned as Joshua staggered out the back door in a desperate search for fresh air and some sort of relief. We found him doubled over in pain, groaning for it to end, the pain or his life. If not the first, then he would beg for the second, expecting and eventually accepting its imminent approach.

It was decided a trip to the hospital was in order and we sped off toward the facility, three miles distant. Though our trip did incur one casualty—an electrical box hiding in the shadows at the edge of the lawn—our wounded comrade was still clinging to life. While en route, one of his crazed mutterings was deciphered as a request for water, and a bottle was held to his lips. Pulling into the “Exit Only” of the E.R. drive, his coherence returned and he began objecting to the urgency of our mission. The water was washing away the pain. By the time we sat down in the lobby, our boy was back to his old self, completely free of pain even at skeptical prods beneath his ribcage.

Waiting to make sure the reprieve wasn’t temporary, Joe’s phone diagnosed the ailment, with helpful input from the security guard, as a gallstone. A call to Mrs. James confirmed a family history, and another to his wife was placed to see whether the insurance co-pay would be worth a cautionary checkup. Four hundred dollars, a devastating sum. Perhaps Obama’s just-passed health care bill would put an end to charges discouraging preventative care, we didn’t know. As it was, we would have to pray another attack didn’t occur on the desolate drive to the U.P., or worse, onstage.

TOUR, day one.

We started and ended our day with James residences, arriving at the elder generation’s in Lincoln, half a day after leaving that of the younger in Willamette Mtn., UT. We look haggard and reek intensely of garlic. The former we were aware of, thanks to numerous gas station mirrors along the way, the latter we were informed of gently by a concerned Mr. James—“Have you been eating hummus?”

The blog is shortly being taken over by the one,
the only,
the tall,
the skinny.
Evan Coulombe.

We left this morning at 6:45 a.m., an impressive forty-five minutes after our intended departure time. The punctuality continued with our new tour manager, Pablo, at the wheel. Our GPS recorded a peak speed for the trip of 95.3 mph, inspiring pride in both “Pabs” and our road-worn van, Betty. Flying across the Midwest plains, the roadside windmills swept us along with their giant arms.

Nearing the Nebraskan border we happened upon a guitar-slinging hitchhiker and, looking from each other to the empty seat and back, hastily pulled over. This fellow traveling musician was making his way back to Manhattan after leaving for California on a songwriting pilgrimage in October. Joshua, eager to try out his new handheld stereo recorder, quickly coaxed him into playing a song for us. Hesitant at first, he became increasingly enthusiastic and the performance grew to include the results of his songwriting journey, intriguing back-stories, and some Beatles covers (his “moneymakers” at rest stops and subway stations). As if shocked at what he had let himself be talked into, he anxiously asked us to drop him off at the next small town, where he planned to sleep on the lawn of a church—a man after our own hearts. A sample of the recording can be heard above and will likely be the last “Van Session,” as the seat will be filled tomorrow by Joe, our keyboard player.

In the canyons beyond Park City we spotted two coyotes messily devouring a deer. We aren’t a particularly superstitious bunch, but this was obviously an omen of great significance. The two coyotes surely symbolized the two legs of our tour, one with Third Eye Blind, the other with Matthew Perryman Jones. The deer would be … well the American public, I guess, who would fall to us like prey. Or perhaps just the plentiful bounty we would receive for our efforts. Either way, the Universe was smiling upon us

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Last Night in Oxford

tonight was the last night here (in Oxford)
I can'ttell you how much i love it here.
Such a beauty,
such a treasure.
Close eyes (tonight).
Heading back to London in the morning.
And off to Austin next week.
What an adventure we have in store.
I have a heart for it.

There is a time to learn.
A time to feel
A time to invent.
NOW is the time to seize

be it.
Whatever (it) is.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

A heartbeat, naked endeavours.


england makes me feel.
anything at all.
I am here with Will (the magical man) and Evan.
how glorious.
the incredible dining tonight was out of this world.
I wish that i could be part of this (always)
but alas.
The pub crawl.
insanely delightful and invigorating.
i thank thee Oxford, England.

There is an amazing show coming up that i wish i could be at.
i will be here still.
i miss those men/bands
i love them so.

let us ALL remember.
life is alive.
death is soon.
i wish i could.
love you all.

Friday, March 5, 2010

like out of a dream...

plane ride was fine.
enough of that...
I just loved the arrival,
the cold, the wet, the sound.
All consuming my thought.
We arrived at the airport of Gatwick
England at 6:52 am on Sunday.
Absolutely no sleep from the plane trip over.
We met Jamie, an insanely kind and hospitable A&R representative here in London.
He drove us to his flat in London and left us here to rest up for the day.
But... it was only 8 am by the time we sleep for us.
We started our stay off on the right foot with a perfect cup of English breakfast tea.
And then off on foot to explore.
We wondered until 6 pm. We then stumbled into a beautiful church building.
We sat and took it all in.

The whole service was breathtaking.
the choir is what really got me.
such conviction!
such passion!
One can only hope to aspire to such things.
We got home after the service and are now fixing up some amazing potatoes, carrots and rice.
this place is magical.

Joshua Fred

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Night's Sun is a Terribly Beautiful Place.

I have seen a great divorce stretch across the western plains.
Consuming from the bottom, every passion every saved.
And i can't justify destruction of these thoughts my mind has made.
There ain't no use for a frail and weakened state.
There ain't no pardon for decisions that i make.

Well, I have leveled all the options in every corner of my mind.
Made apocryphal arrangements with the lord of lust and i,
can't bring myself to tell a single word without sounding like a liar.
Twenty Five years and i've grown tired.
Good God! Watch your son as he's on fire.

There is beauty to be found in the darkness that we create.
Absolution for the conscience of a tortured, beaten state.
I've been carried out by demons, i have seen the face of Cane.
My body can't quite make it to the gate.
My back is being crushed beneath the weight.

I've found a perfect venom to push confusion from my head.
The white path leads to heaven, but i chose the path thats red.
And i could follow to the bottom, but i'll float alone instead.
Hoping for your sake it ain't my pride.
As i'm drifting further deep into the tide.

-Joshua (in a constant state of remorse)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Working hard, hardly working. Hey man, you know me.

The old gang ain't around no more.
But i still seem to get my hands into a bit of trouble,
every now and again.
It appears that we will be visiting the great and
unstoppable city of LONDON again.
How i love it there.
Beauty all around.
I have been here,
finding a place..
anywhere (really)
that i can just say.
Here it is.
Here I AM.
this is what i plan on..
et cetera.
It is so strange to be here.
Never thought it possible.
oh yes..
but alas.
I somehow have arrived to (it).
We will be touring come early april for about a month.
SXSW we will play.
its a quick trip in.
and a faster trip out.
weddings and work.
work and weddings.
dear brother,
i know that you are about to wed (thyself)
be happy in your endeavours.
your loving one (brother).

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Create Something

I came to this.

You birth.
You breathe.
You learn.
You begin.
You create.
You save.
You strive.

You write what you write.
You think what your mind makes.
You do it.
You create that thing.
You sing it.
Whether people love it/hate it.
You die in the end.
And that's it.
It doesn't matter.
It REALLY doesn't matter.
do what you do.
and don't ask forgiveness for it.


Saturday, February 13, 2010

This ain't yo BEEF.

I am a waste (alot of the time).
I shop and purchase most items that are found on my body and inside my house
from a local thrift store called "Deseret Industries"
or for the local folk "DI".

There are many reasons why i enjoy going to DI.
Of course you have your obvious reasons such as low cost,
older clothing, and the thrill of not knowing what will be there that day.
BUT have the bigger reasons of going there.

I suppose it just sort of blows my mind that i see the exact
same people there EVERY single time that i go.
I am one of those people,
but the culture of DI is astounding,
and should possibly be studied at some fancy University in the future.
And it isn't just the fact that it is the same people,
its also the fact that they all wait outside the doors at 9:55,
and when the doors DO open, it is such an extreme event.
People are pushing, shoving, running, screaming.
And this happens EVERY SINGLE DAY (minus Sundays and holidays).

today i went to DI,
I waited outside the doors just like all of my other thrift store comrades
until they opened them at 10am on the button.
I walked inside and started heading to the back of the store.
There was a "heated" conversation going on amongst the employees
of my favorite thrift store.
I remember it going like this:

Employee 1: "Hey, you better leave her alone!"
Employee 2: "This ain't none of yo' beef, you just stick yo' nose out of it."
Employee 1: "You better watch yourself, we got problems now.

As this is all happening there is a mysterious "Employee 3" that was slowly walking away (i am assuming she was the girl that the two boys were fighting over.)

After "Employee 1" had said that "we got problems now" Employee 2 walked directly up to him and put his nose right in his face, saying:

Employee 2: "Oh yeah, whatchyou gun do now withyo' problum?"

I was amazed that no management and or coworker had stepped in to see what "da beef" was all about.

Employee 1: "I wouldn't recommend doing that, I'm gonna find you later, after work, you better leave her alone, or else!!."
Employee 2: "Pssshhhh."

"Employee 2" walked away and into the back room.

Now i know this isn't the most amazing story, or even a good story at that.
But for me it was something exciting that happened in my otherwise boring day.
And gave me yet another reason to go thrift shopping more often.

If either of the employees ever see this (which is highly improbable).
I thank you both!

valentine oh valentine.
love abounds.


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Russian Mafia on the plane ride home.

oh my.
I just got home from London, England.
How amazing it was.
The food, the people, the music.
I can't properly describe everything that happened.
So, I won't.
Despite the fact that the trip was amazing,
the trip home was...well...
and LONG.

We woke up at 5am (London time) to get ready to head to the airport.
The trip to the airport was just fine.
Upon entering into airport security i was immediately searched.
My bags torn open and things spread out.
It took me honestly thirty minutes just to pack my backpack.
It was quite difficult to make everything fit.
After nothing harmful was found in my bags
i was permitted to head to the gate.
Upon arriving about 200 feet from the gate there was yet another search.
My bag was reopened and searched for a second time.
At this point of the trip i was frustrated.
But, i understand.
Better safe than sorry.
We boarded the train, and soon enough we were sailing smoothly across the world
towards NYC. We arrived to New York City safe and sound.
Despite the fact that i was subjected to a terrible movie.
I believe it was called "The invention of Lying"
that is me being as honest as abe.
The plane ride was seven hours to NYC.

we had a FIVE HOUR LAY OVER in New York City.
Son of a b.... it was terrible.
and waiting,
and looking,
and listening.
It really was torturous.
But alas, we made it through.

We boarded the last plane to head to SLC.
I was sitting in my assigned seat, which was
31D, this was an aisle seat.
I was sitting there, calm, collected, peaceful,
waiting for the rest of the passengers to take their seats.
he appeared.
from the midst of the front of the plane,
a gigantic, crunchy faced, trench coat wearing mafia man.
As he came closer, i had no doubt that he would be the one to
be sitting next to me.
and i was right.

Now this man did NOT speak english.
he looked at me and grunted as he pointed to the inside middle seat.
So i calmly unbuckled my seat belt and stood up, so that he would
be able to seat himself.
The man looked at me and half smiled as he pushed me (literally pushed)
to the middle seat. I was confused.
Was he assuming that i would just take that sort of treatment,
that i would just cave?
Damn that man!
he was right, i did cave.
what i ninnie i have become.
The whole plane trip home he would say things in some dark obscure language
that noone including myself understood.
He bullied the stuartesses into giving him free wine.
It was an outrageous scene.

As the plane landed he forced his way to the front to be the first person off
of the plane.
I can't say i was sad when he left my side.
The trip home was a torture.
But, i am home.

to the world we owe everything!
forget me not kindness.


Monday, February 8, 2010

I bid thee adieu, my love

To the world of wonders in which we have been.
I bid thee adieu.
It has been an incredible journey (I thank thee).
here in London.
The party that happened the other night was STUPENDOUS.
The food that was made was out of this world.
It was traditionally a middle eastern gourmet.
We all played and sang music until around 4am.
It was an unbelievable experience.
I appreciate them so much.
(them being those that invited us and let us join their group).
It was good.

We are in London still.
We were supposed to leave on sunday but due
to some meetings that were scheduled (last minute)
we have decided to stay here a couple of more days.
And this is NOT me complaining.
I really do love it here.
There have been talks of coming back soon.
And that comes with time.

My brother is getting married.
I am getting older.
Life is as wild as we all are.
Make it your own.
We all are our own!

heading back home tomorrow morning.
One more pub visit.

sisters of mercy!
joshua (a forced geranium)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Queen of Grocers

It has been a marvelous day here in London,
A sight for seeing we saw.
Big Ben, wow! what an amazing site.
We visited all the main sites near Parliament etc.
It was such an incredible thing to see.
I couldn't help but think of my father all the while.
He lived in England for awhile and i thought of him as i am now,
and it makes me quite happy.

After the sites to see visit we headed to an
extremely fancy and (in my opinion) very overpriced grocery market.
Shannon (manager) was on a search for
nine different jams/jellies to bring back to the states.
We arrived to the spectacular site and began searching we found
everything from rose pedal jelly
to "gentleman's relish", it was quite spectacular really.
I suppose i never really knew that such places existed.
After a 147 pound (roughly $250) jam and jelly visit we
were spent (grocerly speaking).
We decided to go to a cheese bar.
We had bleu and brie cheese.
It was ABSOLUTELY spectacular.
We just arrived back to the hotel to get ready for the
party that is being thrown by our new found London based friends.
We also just got word that we will be in London for a couple of more days
due to some record label interest, we will enjoy every second of it.
and with a good slice of cheese at that.
what a world we are living in friends!

joshua (the searcher)

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Informant of sorts

We played our last show (this go at it)
last night here in London.

This has been a marvelous trip thus far,
and am not looking forward to boarding the plane home.
We still have two whole days left and we plan
to make the most of it.
More shwarmas last night at maroush,
and delightful it was.
There is something in the light here (dull as it may be)
that intoxicates you.
Fills you, and boils you down.
Makes what you truly were meant to be come washing out.
I suppose i know nothing,
I know that really.
But the sensation of living here in tangible.
We have big plans coming.
I question it all sometimes.
Music and all.
But i suppose without questioning you get no answer.
so here is to questioning.
A toast of fable.
A tale of myth.


Joshua (in the forest)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I Love Maroush!

What a day, what a day.
After a long hard search today we finally found a place that was able to fix the guitar.
The guitar (right before sound check) was up and running.
We showed up to "Dirty Boots"
tonight, which is where we were going to play.
And we realized that not only is this a music club,
but also a bowling alley.
We were last (went on around 10:00 pm)
after two rock and roll bands.
Seeing as how we are a Neo-Alt-Post-Prog-Folk Duo
we had some shoes to fill to show the crowd WHO was boss.
And that we did (or atleast attempted)
We played (what felt like) a solid set of songs,
and put our hearts on the line.

After the show we spent some time talking to some incredibly kind locals.
We talked/laughed/ and planned a very insanely promising party in east london
for this upcoming saturday.
I cannot wait, and will send all details post party mr. james.
We took a cab back to the hotel and stopped by a place called
"Maroush" which sells authentic Lebanese food.
I purchased myself a mixed schwarma wrap.
Basically lamb meet and chicken with some incredibly exquisite seasonings and vegetables.
It made my heart phenomenally warm.
indeed i do.
here is to london,
the cold,
the rain,
the friends,
the way (to live is to love)


to the moon we go all together now.
joshua (the tyrant of the seas)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Just one step on the train leaves the other foot behind.

What a day what a bloody day.
So much to tell, and so much sleep to get.
I will make this brief (in theory)

We decided to take the tube to the show tonight.
In our possession was a 125 lb. suitcase containing an amp and other tricks and treats,
three guitars, and three backpacks.
There is a total of three of us here.
It took us 40 minutes of scaling stairs dozens of times
with all of our musical weight to get to the venue.
Upon arrival we were told that we would be getting a very very brief soundcheck.
still everything was fine (seemed fine).
I plugged my guitar only to find out that the pickup had broken on the way over to the UK.
no worries (i thought)
I will just borrow a guitar from one of the other bands.
"YES yes" one of them said,
"you can use my guitar".
I was thrilled.
Ok, it won't be that bad after all.

SO we went on.
during the second song i heard the guitar (that was borrowed)
slowly fade to its powerless death.
The battery died in the guitar and once again i had no guitar,
but this time it was in front of a venue of people.
so the sound man put a mic on it, that in all reality didn't work too well.
We did our best the rest of the set.
and HOPE that noone was disappointed (completely)
and with that PRAYER i leave you.


joshua and the bandit.

Shannon, The Tremor King

We arrived safely yesterday afternoon to London.
There was a bit of shaking of the plane on the way over.
But such is the life of the average airplane.

The real story doesn't lie with the airplane,
the ride over, or the beautiful scenery upon our arrival.
No the real story doesn't lie with any of that.
The TRUE story lies with my manager Shannon,
or rather the way he doesn't LIE STILL at all.

Upon inspection of our London hotel room,
we realized that there was only sleeping accommodations for two.
And that is a problem seeing as how there is THREE of us.
This was no new scenario for Evan and I, we have dealt with much
unkinder accommodations in the past, so we did what any normal
people would do and we pushed the two twin beds together for a
comfy night sleep in London town.
Seeing as how none of us got much sleep on the plane trip over,
we were in bed by 10:00 PM or so (London time).
The bed wasn't massive by any stretch of the imagination,
but it wasn't TERRIBLE either.
I felt like living.
about 15 minutes into out slumber there were large tremors
attacking our bed. Almost shaking me off of edge.
This happened every 5-10 minutes throughout the night due
to SHANNON'S inability to lie still.
It seems that his body has some sort of problem with involuntary
seizuring throughout the REM cycle. I was blown away.
I suppose it wasn't JUST that that contributed to the terrible night of
attempted sleep.
About 4am SHANNON begins to do this tremolo snoring.
Snoring sounds that noone (i truly believe) has ever heard before.
This had to have been the first time this noise had ever been made by a human.
It was like a convulsing monkey yelp.
I was so close to attempted murder it frightened me.
Please bless that something happens to him today.
joking (sort of)
I can't talk about this anymore it's giving me anxiety.
Shannon the tremor king,
what a sorry state that man is in right now.

here is to LONDON TOWN.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Off into the wake we go. No breathing.

It's a sunny day with cold clouds here.
I have been cleaning for what feels like a couple months,
but alas, tis only 34 minutes since i began.
Pizza remnants caked in and around the corners of these cookie sheets.
Could be a long one.
I have been trying to delve deeper into the past couple of days actions,
but something keeps stopping me.
I refuse to settle for "nothing".
So i will conquer and divide that which i have been given.

To my son, (future)
I appreciate that you have taken steps to calm your mother and I. Not a day goes by that I don't hope for your success in the medical field. Your mind has become a weapon that should be used to defend truth and charity. You are truly a talent and master of your craft. I can only express in words (for my mouth won't mutter) how your success has affected both your mother and I. You can make it to the moon if you wish, and beyond if the wish grows fatter. I am yours and forever i will be.
your Father,
The DAD.

Second. (Past)

I can't believe this.
Can you believe this?
All they said was that there would be...
I don't..
I can't believe it, what a crock of..
Ok, Ok calm down (the wiser one is speaking)
We should probably get home, Lorie always says something to Mom, and i don't want...
I think they can see us.
Get down!

(a squeak, a bottle breaks)

Who's in there?
(eyes of wonder)
Anyone in here?
(stomachs of pain)

(a squeak, talking, and giggling)

I knew this was a bad idea.
How did you convince me to come here?
My mom was right about you.

Third (What could have been)

My belief is a lie.
A story to buy.
On Monday he lives,
On Tuesday he dies.
My intent is to feel.
Regardless of past
Regardless of them.
Of those and of that.

I suppose I could
break down all thought i digest.
That seems dissapointing.
It's this i suggest.

Love the one you're with.
Break your own heart.
Not by love, denial, etc.
You're the one to cut, to tear apart.
It's only then that you can.
Give your complete self.
And she will love you.
She'll tell you you're it.
Without your heart her's won't exist.

And in that is your freedom.
In her is your heaven.
Her arms become angels.
Her kiss is treasure given.

-Gart the Bengal

As you can see it has gotten mighty confusing if you read
1-3 at the same time. Take it in sections.
It gets better.
London tomorrow.
Can't describe.
So I won't.

night to the moon.


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Piecing it ALL together.


a stylistic choice made of wonderment
and the color red.
A fading trend amongst teenagers and wizards.
A hearty drink used to cure diabetes.


A farthing might do the trick, but you should plan for more.
Demons in the cupboard ward away all bad luck.
Fury in your fists tells what needs to be heard.
Supper will be served promptly at dawn.


Start with the left one and move to the right.
With certain strength you would've never had a right.
Power and Prestige.
Tigers in the jungle.
Underneath the stairs, behind the door,
you'll find me.
oh me.
yes me.

this was your intent,
i am sure.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A constant moment of thought.

I am, I am, I am
written on April 25th, 2009
(a time of discomfort)

I am helpless (at best)
I am trite (and terrible)
I am confused (and miserable)
I am alone (and conflicted)
I am fake (but sincere)
I am a wreck (completely)
I am troubled (but only sometimes)
I've learned to block out (all I know)
I can be hateful (but with caution)
I can be helpful (with a reason)
I am envious (of happiness)
I am ashamed (but i've dealt with it)
I am a killer (every day)
I am faithless (depending)
I don't like discussion (except with sincerity)
I am colorful (with captions)
I am sexual (with remorse)
I am angry (alot)
i am suicidal (with thought)
i am ridiculous (most of the time)
I am in love (truth)
I hate my songs (truth)
I am lost (without her)
I see no point (to most)
I see good reason (to little)
I am sick of dealing with (?)
I am childish (in dream)
I am a cyclone (of thought)
I have been buried alive (many times)
I feel depressed (about most)
I feel blackened (from inside)
I feel dark (unless with her)
I feel sick (I sure am (I'm sure))
I miss home (with all of me)
I have grown fat (with sugar)
I long for change (always)
I am furious (at the situation)
I am hungry (right now)
I know my words are meaningless (x)
I don't care (sometimes)
I don't need (never)
I am extremely needy (usually)
I am drunk (but control it well)
I am a liar (infrequently)
I care (about my lovers)
I long for happiness (always)
I have learned to feel nothing (doesn't work)
I hate smoking (usually)
I don't know much about who I am (x)
I wish for joy (always)
I pray to GOD (when needed)
I wish to be caring (but alas...)
I hate those that hurt me (Hate)
I have learned to ignore (what?)
I am not alright (nor desire it)
I hate music (now)
I need medicine (but alas...)
I will become something (let's hope)
I am being punished (for all of it)
I dislike laziness (see many)
I will become my worst (xx)
I am deciding (about alot)
I sing (many songs)
I swim (in confusion)
I approach things the wrong way (x)
I will give up (soon)

-joshua fred james (you!!!!!)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Didn't He Ramble?

Fear not he who can destroy the body.
Fear him who can destroy both the soul and the body.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

History of 2000 years

Evan has been making me weepy with that Baritone guitar.
I am ready, or as ready as i can be.
For the time BEING.
To go play three shows in London.
I am excited.
Frustrated (about so much).
no no.
to the sound of the fiddle.
the fiddler on the mountain has called me.
back home again.
I am feeling anxiously engaged in the current state of "it all"
hark to the sound!
2000 years of history has brought the event to its culmination.

"There is beauty to be found in the darkness we create,
Absolution for the conscience of a tortured beaten state.
I've been carried out by demons,
I have seen the face of Cane!
My body can't quite make it to the gate (kingdom of fire)
My spine is being crushed beneath the weight."

to you all i wish the sun
the stars
the moon.
to you all i hope the fire
the dark
the rule.
consumes the heartache that diseased us.
digests the failure that infects us.
defends the mother that protects us.

joshua fred.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Finding out sooner rather.

I am figuring this whole thing out.
I haven't posted anything.
for some reason.
I just have disconnected for awhile.
Just finished Screwtape Letters.
scared me a bit.
taking a fast train somewhere.
first in a while.
working on it.
patience is perfect.

Monday, October 12, 2009


We played at Asigiri Jam two days ago.
The experience was so beautiful.
People are so kind here.
and so forgiving of musical mistakes.
For there were so many.
We are playing tonight in Tokyo at DUO.
we are happy to be here.
so much good food.
so many goodtimes.

love love

Thursday, October 8, 2009

We have arrived here, please be patient with us.

The time has arrived to leave the country.
We are ever so excited.
I wish it comes and goes like all days.
But with BALLOONS.
and excitement.
Ahoy Japan!

We leave tomorrow morning from Boston, MA to play
Asigiri ROCK. a musical festivity that will take place
just outside of TOKYO.

The tour has been stupendous for us all.
And it has been terribly painful at the same time.
We have lightened hearts and are ready for what is to come
from the second half of the US tour.
There has been a Salt Lake City, and Los Angeles date added to the end of the tour.
In case there are any out there that are in those areas.

Los Angeles : The Hotel Cafe (21+) on Nov. 16
Salt Lake City : The State Room on Nov. 20

We most recently slept in a rest area in Roanoke, VA
the wind seemed mellow.
We arrived around 10:30 PM
we layed our sleeping bags underneath a picnic area
(Two lads in each area, because they were very small gazebos)
The night seemed promising.
At around 12:30 AM, the winds began to moan.
The rain started and we had to mount ontop of picninc tables
to minimize the rain damage to our sleeping equipment.
The winds wouldn't stop,
they were fierce.
with pain.
moaning and lamenting against who?
i am not sure.
BUT THEY WERE up in arms.
we made it through.
The morning came.
and all was well.

MUCH respect to such strength.

joshua and the great northplatte

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Champaign, ILLINOIS is on FIRE!!!

Tour has been such a great one thus far.
We (The Great Northplatte Brothers) are on a wondeful trip across the US.
and we are happy to announce that it has been very enjoyable up until today.
Of course,
there has been trials
for the most part, really great.
We played at COWBOY MONKEY last night in Champagin, IL.
We were headed out early this morning for Ann Arbor, MI.
As we were riding the on ramp of the 57 we noticed a bright flash that came
from the back right tire.
We figured it was just a cop that had finally noticed our missing tail light.
So we were not that surprised.
Suddenly Joe noticed that it wasn't a siren at all,
but rather a fire.
Our back right wheel well was on FIRE.
and we were in no situation to put it out.
IT was bloody 6 in the morning.
We ran into the nearby field in fear that the van would blow up.
We watched as our back right wheel melted and was burning in flames.
Just as we were about to cut our losses and purchase plane tickets home.
A man emerged from a Mcdonalds Diesel wielding a fire extinguisher.
He dove under the flames and fought the fire
with verociousness.
We sat in wonder as he conquered the firey beast.
And suddenly that was it.
THe fire was out.
Just smoldering metal and rubber was left in the fires stead.
Our hero didn't stay long, he ran back to his diesel
and without a second word was off.

We had the van towed to a local veterans mechanic shop
and is currently under the knife.
So HERE WE are...
in Champaign.

Break me off that .
joshua and the great northplatte.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Build ME This !!

"Build Me This" is in stores today.
We are so happy to be out and about.
On the road.
Feeling, seeing, experiencing so many people/places.
We are in LOVE with the idea of the road.
it seems that the road is a whole different thing
than the idea of the road.

BUT regardless, we are happy to be doing this.
you can see a list of shows (up until now)

We played in Denver last night and it was AMAZING!
Amazing in the fact that the people that came out were
and for that we thank you denverites.
Be kind
Be loving,
just BE


Sunday, August 23, 2009

You can speak what you believe, but every thought comes preconceived.

i had made such promises.
"I will write more".
But i have failed the seven people that with time on there hands
might take a glance of this sorry sorry system of blogification.
I am here again,
to spew a couple of thoughtless phrases onto my small laptop
and then send it into the erratic area of cyberness.

On a different note, the vinyl came in last night.
I am excited. I think.
I think that it will be ok.
I have been thinking about the master cleanse again.
cayenne pepper,
syrup (grade b).
and into the depths you will go.
I have thought alot about alot as of late.
but confusion takes the wheel.
I will get over those thoughts,
i always do.

"Mother, my companion, please remember what i said.
I know my words they might confuse you, floatin up inside youre head.
And though you paint your house bright blue, and i paint my house red.
there's always middle ground on which to stand."


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

things are really going that way or "It's not you, It's me."

If a man were to die,
would he put himself on trial.
Throw is actions to the court room,
let them taint his pride?

I want to start on the next next record.
I think we are getting closer to ready.
But i suppose we must first release build me this,
before starting such a topic.

This pear has been sitting on my desk for two weeks now.
I just wanted to show a progression.
And what better progression,
than death?


Monday, August 3, 2009

And, To Feel Is to.....

I am early in the morning.
Risen from a night owl.
Sleep has brought sadness.
Wake another hour now.

Boulder, CO.
is where we are heading this next weekend.
there is a whole new lineup of amazing friends
that will be joining me on stage.
We are determined to create a musical empire.
I guess we shall see.

I am excited/nervous for the future.
Life is silly.
I can't quite get ahold of anything yet.
I have begun to write again.
Much really.
Much Much.
I enjoy the process,
the sadness,
and the way.

We will be playing at Lollapalooza as well.
the day after Boulder, CO.

and then back home for some weeks.
But starting August. 31 we will be out for a mighty wind.
A MIGHTY of a wind.
I can't wait to taste the road again.
To lose my inhibition,
To unleash my thoughts.
To avoid a hurting.
To destroy my fright.

Here we are, all together now.


sinfully all of yours,


Sunday, August 2, 2009

May 24, 2009

Was the last time i had put anything on here.
I often feel just, overwhelmed with....
i don't really know what.
"IT" is just overwhelming.
It being anything that consumes you i suppose.
so here is to today.
here is to yesterday.
and here is to tomorrow.
may it all come lightly.

Hurry and write down your feelings.
Hesitation means death.
Pickle all of your inklings,
bottle every last breath.
For your mind will betray,
and say your memory is false.
Underneath the sheets at Willamette Mountain.

Conjure up all of your demons,
Try and make peace with the pain.
To ignore and neglect'll
Make you bitter and stained.
You're a creature of Comfort,
and your body gives way,
to the spirits in Willamette Mountain.



Sunday, May 24, 2009

i wish i had more time to express.
blogging .... or this.
is very excitable for me.

i want to say, see so much.

but alas i probably won't.
i shall soon.
stick with me.
let me.
you and me.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Doctor oh Doctor,
please bring me my wine.
The nights to remember are getting harder to find.
and more words just serve confusion to each
corner of my mind.
Darling call me up when you get some time.

Monday, April 27, 2009

another note of obsure dysfuntction

i have given in to society (in a baaaaad way)

go figure it out now.

It takes a wind storm to get you to think about your mother. It takes a rain storm to stop you!

There has been so much that has happened/been seen since Grand Rapids, Michigan.
After our luxurious stay with good friends in the wild woods of michigan we were off.
Our minds full of hope/doubt.
But our wills stronger than before.
Having rejuvenated our spirits.
We took off for Minneapolis.
It was a very enjoyable show.
We have currently been touring with the wonderman "Rocco Deluca".
He surely is a treat to watch/behold.
After the show we started towards Madison, WI.
We were searching for a place to lay our tired heads.

The place we found was a well known american tourist attraction
known as the "Rest Stop".
We pulled off to the side of the road.
There are three of us.
We can't all fit (sleeping) in the van.
Evan and myself decided to venture off into the wild
to make a claim on land (sleeping wise).
We set up a very poorly manufactured tent about twenty yards from the snoaring semis that haunted my dreams that night.

No more than twenty minutes after we had crawled into our cave of dreams
did the rains/winds/devils start to approach us.
The wind whistled.
The rain whipped.
The devils cried.
We were frightened/excited/exhausted.
The poor tent bent in half under the weight of the elements.
Our hearts were full of thunder.
We were forced to hold the four walls up of the tent to keep it from breaking.
God was relentless in his demands.
"More wind" he moaned.
"More rain, give them more rain!"

I couldn't believe his relentless anger.
The rain wouldn't let up.
The wind got worse.
We heard thunder.
We felt lightning (everywhere).
There was a time when we thougth that the whole tent would blow away with us inside it.

For thirty minutes we battled with god for the piece of land that we had claimed that night.
He with his wind and rain.
Us with our minds and strength.

He was no match for us!

The wind began to die down, as did the rain.
We layed our heads down, and listened to the trickle of tears from heaven.
It was a magical night.
I couldn't ask for more anger/fury/experience than that.

We woke up next morning, the rain was still coming down.
There was water in the tent.
We were wet, but happy.
We were haggered, but strong.
We got in the van and headed for Madison.

The brakes in the van went out.
But it was sunday.
We could find no assistance
(have to get to the show)
excuse me mr. could you help us with...
(have to get to the show)
oh, this is not...
(have to get to the show)
we made it to the show.

it was a very very very enjoyable experience (it'was).
we packed the van up right after the show.
We had a very long drive ahead of us.

We headed to lincoln, NE that night (11pm was takeoff)
I decided to drive the whole way.
i am not the best night driver.
but i am determined.
I was off.
Oh god help me.
i was exhausted upon arriving home.
It rained the entire trip.
What elements.
What luck.
What a life.

oh boy, i love it!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Grand Rapids is quite positively something special

We just drove 13 hours from Pittsfield, Mass to Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Quite the little journey in one day.
We are very happy to be here.
We are currently with some of our favorite people EVER!
It is amazing to see friends/family always.
I pray for love.
I hope for faith.
I scream for feeling.
I sing for salvation.
truly yours,
joshua fred.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Growing more and more i suppose

We are currently in Burlington, VT.
So so so so beautiful.
I really enjoy the northeast.
We have been blessed.
we have been touring with Ani Difranco.
She is incredible.
Her band is incredible.
Her friends and crew are all incredible.
Her fans are incredible.
We are blessed.
I hope none of us take for granted such opportunities.
Because they are grand.
They are beautiful.
This land is so enchanted/mystical/magical.
Its quite hard to put into words what is going through my head.
I want to swim naked in the lakes here.
I want to dance under moonlight.
I want to scream at the moon.
I want to forget who i am, what i've become, what i thought i was.
I want to remember all the times i have experienced in the past.
I want to hold close my lovers, my family, my friends.
I need to learn more.
I need to sing more.
I need to laugh more.
write more.
read more.
think more.
relate more.
love more.

talk less.

we are what we are until we DECIDE it to not be so.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


i am in japan,
never ever,
thought i would be here.
Especially playing music.
i am .
grateful truly truly.
We play tonight,
tomorrow, the next day.
The time is so different here (obvious)
it is hard to get use to.
We get back april 1st and then off again to the road
April 9th, we will be out for one month.
I hope love is abundant.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Treachery, spelling wrong, picture of ashley

we are back out on the road.
weather is so much more liveable in March than it was in January/February.
I love this time of year.
We played centennial and denver colorado the last two nights.
They were both very very memorable and appreciated shows.
We are in Lincoln NEbraska right now,
seeing my parents.
Off to Lawrence, KS in about two and a half hours.
Our routing is taking us to canada which we are very excited about.
Our last show on this little tour is Cleveland Ohio,
then we have a 25.5 hour drive to SLC which is where we fly to Japan from.
We have a total of 1.5 days to make it there.
Not the most excited about it.
Will do it though.
Have to.
Traveling is beautiful.
Loving is more.
you and yours,
joshua and brothers.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Sing Songs EP leaving

So i might or might not have mentioned the fact that the full length record is done.
We are busy getting ready for its release.
In the mean time we have assembled a five song EP with songs that didn't make the record.
This EP is available at shows and on mailorder only.
it will not be on itunes, napster, emusic, etc.

the song listing includes:

crooked arrow
farmer from the west
baby boy
ribbon bows
water run

You can buy it at:
or at a show.

we are going to be out touring much of march and april.
we are happy to be out, to be alive at all really.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Time has Come, bring me the papers.

We have been out on "tour"
now for only a couple of days.
It is not the full band this time.
Economic struggle (inside our reach)
and we had to downsize for the said tour.
It is I (joshua) and Nate (piano man)
we are opening for Lydia.
It has been quite enjoyable up until this point.
We are now resting in the graces of my nebraskan parents.
Very hopsitable.
We don't get internet/connection often.
We are excited to keep playing/relating/singing.

We will finish with our friends out hear on the 27th of Feb.
and then back home for awhile.
starting the 14th, we will be back out on the road.
Check website for dates.
Also we have a "live purchased only" EP that we are releasing.
Meaning it will not be on itunes.
the only way to get it is to come to a show or
order it at
It has 5 songs that were not included on the full length LP that is
due out in June.
I am, we are happy about it.
If anyone reads this.
thank you,
thank you for
and for anyone with their own thoughts and or position on anything at all.
we are happy for now.
be with you.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Passing of Time. A Passing of Touch. A Return to the Road.

I apologize for:

not entering any stories, information and or thoughts for awhile.
I am trying my hardest to REPENT.

alot has happened as of lately.
some of them include:

- the finishing of the next record
- the finishing of an ep (after the record)
- building of the largest snowman in my neighborhood
- a beautiful tour along the west coast and into Arizona.
- many other things that are currently slipping my mind right now.

As for the last tour that we went on i will try and give a quick detailed message.

Logan, UT:
We arrived at the venue and found out that the capacity was 49.
The club fit in well over 100.
The fire marshall showed up and removed all but that capacity of 49.
The venue refused to refund money to those that were forced out.
We decided to play some songs on the street for them.
We also decided to play two different sets, so that those that had to leave could come back at a later time and hear some songs that we sing.
It was alltogether a great night.

Los Angeles, CA:
We played at the hotel cafe which is always great.
We made many mistakes.
We saw Masao from Japan
We were able to see very many good friends.
We met with Capitol Records.
We saw Joe vomit for 10 minutes in Richards bathroom.

Hermosa Beach, CA:
We played to a louder club this night.
We hung with Lex Land and her friend.
Lexes friend hydroplaned and almost killed us by driving into the median on the highway going 75 miles an hour.

San Diego, CA:
We opened for Greg Laswell
The club sold out.
We played well i believe.
We met many good friends that night.
Evan drank too much.
We danced in the rain.
We slept partially uncomfortable (because of the wet clothing)

Tucson, AZ
We climbed a mountain
Evan took pictures on the mountain.
We screamed from the Mountain.
Kissle mooned us from the mountain.
We played to a full club.
We slept in the van (uncomfortable)

Phoenix, AZ
we played to an AMAZING sitting down group of kind people.
we made mistakes.
We drove through the night to make it home.
Nate and Kissle drove through the night to make it home.
The snow was insane.
We were insane.

-we made it home safely.

we are home now.
promise to blog again soon.

The new record is due out in JUNE 2009.
be kind.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

This, You Can Build.

Build Me This....

Rot if there is rot,
or should i say....
if the roots are rotting.
For it seems the tree is dying.
You should tear the whole thing from the ground and rebuild.
Atleast that's what my father always taught me.
But this...
this still contains rot.
Lots and lots of rotting.
Build Me This.

We are mixing/finishing the next record this coming weekend.
I am excited/nervous/anticipatory.
But it seems no matter ow much we work on it there will always be
mistakes/and lots and lots of rot.
But i suppose perfection is not that at all.
Beauty is found in the mistakes (often).

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Guitar Player Wanted!!!

We (The band and I)
are looking for a:

guitar/pedal steel playing (that could maybe play a bit of piano) fiend.
that is willing to play/tour/practice/be happy.

We can offer friendship/warm goods/etc.

Please contact me if interested either write a message to me,
or send email to:

and ever.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Put this away.

In Los Angeles, CA.
got here yesterday, hope to record some songs while out here.
we have (up until this point) recorded 21 songs for the next record.
we are doing five more tomorrow.
it is or should i say,
it can be such a stressful thing.
et cetera.
I hope it comes out beautiful.
(or thought of as the latter)
I am thinking of you all.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Rebirth, a Baptism of thoughts, of heart, of soul, of you, of i.

Putting down this tonight,
for you, for all of us (you)
We love,
we hate,
we need,
we want.
But all of this is without sacrifice.
We will make a sacrifice (whether of heart or soul)
Create meaning (with our sacrificial slay)
If this comes off as:
a) meaningless
b) fruitless
c) hopeless
i apologize...
to you (again) i apologize
For all of this (life, living, meaning, hope, death, fate)
is in our thoughts (you)
I hope that i am able to make sense of this tomorrow morning.
There are times/occurences/experiences
that lead me to this
They all lead me to this
the same sad/silly/hopeless/and often romantic
LOVE/SONG/LIFE (i suppose)

Please consider that in all of it (us, you, and i)
we are made to feel/listen/open/digest.
I am not out of mind (and or body/otherwise)
I am this.
I am this.

I AM!!

with all the gratitudes/hopes that experience (living)
will allow.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Failing is what....FLAILING!

I didn't log in here to talk of my failing the lemonade diet.
I will try again (soon) but to say the least i have failed.

I got on to mention that:
the crash this train/the garden single will be available to
listen and to buy on itunes starting sept. 23rd.
Which i am very excited about.
We have been working very hard for the next record,
and have around 30 songs that we have recorded for it.
Now the widdling down process begins,
to decide which songs make it and which songs get cut.
I hope that we make the right call.
I need to blog more,
it makes me feel better,
(for some reason)
i with this always
I love every one of you.

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Master Cleanse or, More Lemonade Please

i understand and know that this is not part of my tour journal.
But nonetheless part of my existence/life/love/etc.
I have recently (after some extensive study/reading)
decided to embark on a journey of internal cleansing.
Such a journey that has been aforementioned "The Master Cleanse"
I will for 12 days eat/drink nothing more than
Fresh squeezed lemonade with Cayenne Pepper and Real Maple Syrup added.
The benefits (so i hear) are to cleanse your body from toxins.
I know this might sound like a scandal, but i believe it.
I have decided to make a journal of each day through the cleanse,
to non only document my madness, but to have a journal of it afterward as well.
I am excited/nervous.
Today is the first day.
I have no hunger this morning.
But will drink my first glass of lemonade in about a half an hour.
Domination will occur over the next 12 days and i hope to feel better
from the inside out.
Tour has taken it out of me.
But alas i am happy to have arrived home, safe.
with love and always.
until tomorrow,

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

No Pardon Granted

I am home for now,
I have found a new sound of future,
I can't be/we can't be what we have been,
but rather,
be what we will be, in the present.

I want to forget,
so much,
I want to forgive,
my so much.

This won't ever end,
this won't ever ever stop.
not till death.


Monday, July 21, 2008

Starting on a new leg, a broken bow, a crooked arrow, you and i?

SO much as happened, i would be lying if i were to even try and deceive you all
with saying that this short post will mention half of the amazing and yet
often depressing things that have happened to us recently.
Our leg with Will Dailey and his amazing group of bandits is over.
We are very very sad,
we love them so.
We are now with Corey Chisel and his wandering sons.
It is quite delightful.
This Tuesday will be our 6 week mark on the road,
and our bones, and bodies have grown quite tired to say the least.
But we venture on with heart,
with soul,
with anger,
with vengance,
The shows have recently been quite amazing.
We saw Chris Rock in Chicago.
We are currently in Ann Arbor,
we are enamored with the Nutkins Family (Grand Rapids, MI)
Kindness still prevails in the heart of man (so we hope)

To Death (I'm Dying)
To Love (I'm Trying)
To God (I'm Lying again)
To my Ma (I've failed you)
To my Pa (It's blamed you)
To God (I have shamed you again)

this and all of this is a test,
of beauty and or malace.
i pray.
forever yours,

Sunday, July 13, 2008

A Tavern At Hand, A Sword Left Stand.

So much has happened, i don't have any idea of where to start.
I could maybe start out by explaining that my body has
become not only a tad thinner, but that it has become a nezzling (word?)
place for grass critters (i.e. mosquitos, beatles, flies, etc.)
I hope that it ends soon.
We were awoken today by the blistering sun with a view of the beautiful tress
in upstate New York.
We visited Niagara Falls (beautiful)
we opened up for Blood, Sweat, and Tears (8500 people)
We are Blessed.
speak it.
I will post pictures that maybe could explain more than my voice.
I am happy (for now)
but have not been (for future/past)
How can this become something glorious?
i hope,
and always will.
We are now in Boston,
The red sox won today.
be safe,
wherever you all might be,
because for me,
and for mine,
we are on the verge,
on the verge of a new civilization,
to find,
to hold,
to conquer,
to leave,
to live,
and to never look back,
for now is our time,
and now is all the time we have.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

A Canon Of Fire or Fury

Make it one more time for me my sweet.
We are now in Charlotte North Carolina,
and happy as worms.
On our way here (two days past) we stopped on an exit
we drove down this mountain side and found a small trail that led
to one of the most beautiful waterfalls on this side of the planet.
We bathed with the suits that the good lord has bestowed on all of us.
in other words stark...
stark and beautiful.
We loved it so so much.
we made it to Charlotte and had an amazingly beautiful crowd.
We love it so much.
We are heading to Washington D.C. tomorrow.
with love i will live.
with hate i will not.
a charming thing is this.
that with freedom we are taught.

completely yours and this is mine.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Mistress of the Sea

The Road, into all of this is a terribly abusive and beautiful thing.
I wish it upon noone/everone.
But alas we are here,
and yet again it is the same time that it has always been.
Love is here with us all.
We have had some very very goodexperiences out here.
I love it all.
We have been out on the road with someamazing individuals.
Will Dailey is a phenomenal person and musician.
We love being out with him.
We recently were in Charleston SC,
As we pulled in we noticed the rain clouds boiling up above us.
We had plans to make it to the ocean that day,
and so we went.
We made it to the shoreline just as the winds from the east were blowing.
The sands upon the beach were blowing and whipping our faces.
The waters were angry, the gods of fury.
We ran into the ocean, just like out of a novel.
The water consumed us, all of us.
We danced with the devil,
with the mistress of the sea.
We found ourselves consuming the storm.
The waves were high, and as the clouds layed into us, we found God.
We found our spirituality, there in the wild woods of South Carolina.
Again i repeat,
I pray this on noone/everyone.
Believe in all of this.
For this is ours.


Thursday, June 26, 2008

Make A Residency, Leave a Letter.

There has been so much that has happens in the last little while,
i hope that i am able to remember it all.
We camped last night on the beaches of Florida.
It was beautiful,
you are beautiful.
We went to this great Bar to get some seafood.
Little did we know that there was karaoke going on.
We all sang,
for a good four hours.
It was so beautiful.
Then Trevor, Kissle, and I.
decided to jump the high bridge into the ocean.
We went to bridges end, and decided that it was crazy.
but i halted.
I explained that there is one chance.
always one.
and we were there.
i climbed over the bridge and lept into the water.
Kissle and Trevor followed my lead.
The waves were huge and we could barely see the docks edge.
We made it to the rusted ladder that would help us to safety and
it was absolutely covered in barnacles.
We weasled our way past them and made it to dry ground.
When returning back into the bar, the owner explained that
there is a resident bull shark and that it was a very dangerous area.
We Love It All!
There is such a beauty in wonder.
I know it,
you know it.
such a beauty.
We are here in Tampa FL tonight.
the heat is minimal.
for that.
I will post pictures soon.
believe in something.
make sure it is sincere.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Boulevard to Broken and Back again

Dear Darling,

we are now in Orlando Florida, playing "The Social" tonight.
we have had a heck of a couple of days.
We played in Nashville the night before last to a
beautifully respectful and cheerful crowd.
It was (unfortunately) the last night that we will be playing with
Justin Townes Earle.
The night before that we played in Atlanta, GA.
We had found a Home Depot 2.1 miles from the venue that
we needed to go to, to purchase something.
And being the fit men that we are we(trevor, kissle, and i)
decided to walk there. We headed down a street known as
"The Boulevard"
As we were walking we noticed many people staring at us.
almost saying with there eyes "what the hell are you doing here"
We were not startled, nor frightened, we gathererd our savvy,
and ventured on. We passed through what appeared to be a bit more
"rundown" part of the city, and received very amplified concerning looks.
We went a bit past the street that we were supposed to turn on,
and started heading back trying to find home depot,
two kind people at the bus stop warned us to not go down the street we had
just come up, lest we get robbed and or killed.
The man that warned us pulled out a large knife from his pocket and mentioned
"this is what i carry in case they start tryin sometin"
we took the mans advice and went through a different street.
We made it to home depot with no problems.
They did not have what we were looking for, and
we walked back to the venue,
it was all around about a 5 mile endeavour.

The walk had gotten Kissle worked up, and sweaty.
He decided to bath in the creek that was a block away from the venue,
after him bathing in it, we found out that it was the overflow
sewage drain.
That's that.

We sound checked and then grabbed our baseball mits.
we weren't really thinking about where we were playing, but it was right next to
a very very busy intersection.
Kissle missed the baseball and it smashed right into the side
of this mans truck.
he wasn't happy.
its been eventful.
we are busy.
i hope it is well with all.
You all.
Us All.
Them All.
j. and brothers.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

There is a robber in our midst.

i can't remember if we mentioned the miraculous events in Memphis,
but allow us to toot our horn a bit.
Nate (keys) swam across a large canal of the mississippi on a 25 bet.
we ate amazing food,
and played/recorded at the infamous Sun Studios.
sweet love.

Birmingham Alabama (today)

What a beautiful beautiful place.
we were robbed.
it was a terrible terrible thing.
we stepped inside of walmart to buy a lock.
Someone smashed the van window,
stole laptops,gps,cameras,etc.
and we are now with low spirits.
bless us.
bless us all.

joshua and brothers.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

You Make It Look Much Easier

We played in Houston, TX two nights ago, it was an amazing experience.
It was a humble crowd, but we were very happy to be there.
After the show we left around 1:00 A.M. to make the drive to atleast
Baton Rouge so that we didn't have such a long drive in the morning.
We made it to BR at about five A.M. and slept till 8 A.M. the next morning,
we had an early radio show in Memphis and had to leave.

We reached the Memphis town, and walked around down town.
We that night had the privelege to do a live (and recorded) set
at the famous Sun Studios, where Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Elvis,
and many many other early rock and roll artists found there "sound".
It was an amazing experience, and we felt very very honored that we
were able to do it.

The road is beautiful,
the country large.
our minds open (we hope)

Colors are the windows to our....

you and i darling.
until soon (we hope)

joshua and brothers.

Monday, June 16, 2008

A Room, A Reason, A Time To Forget About It All

Austin Texas is a beautiful place.
It was such a great time, and show.
We were fortunate enough to have a friend
help us out on a hotel room.
It was the first time that we were able to legitamitlly (spelling?)
bath ourselves.

We swam, sang, and loved it all.
Trouble hasn't been finding us,
not now,
not like this.
here are some photos,
you are all beautiful.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

To The Vagabond in Vampire Dresses

Only four days in and it has been an amazing experience.
Thanks to the glorious,
organimicao emerald which is tour.

After St. George we headed to Las Vegas where we were able to stay with my (joshua)'s family. It was so amazing, we swam, and were able to spend some time with my family.

Friday morning we started heading towards the lone star state's
first stop for us (Dallas). We made it to a small town in New Mexico called
Spirits were high, but bellies hungry.
We set up our sleeping bags in the desert near some train tracks,
and began to prepare tuna fish sandwiches.
The Tuna came and went, but bellies still hungry.

We saw rabbits, we saw rocks.
We hunted rabbits.
But failed miserably.
No luck,
No Rabbit,
No Belly Full.

We left early the next morning, we made it to about four hours outside of Dallas were we found a very comfortable piece of land where we were able to set up our tent.
About 45 min. after arriving we were approached by a mid 50's what appeared to be rancher. He explained that he owned the land and had no problems with us staying there as long as we understood that there were rattlesnakes the size of his arms.
This to us was no surprise.
We are anything but novices what it comes the land of predator and prey.
We explained to the man that we would be just fine, and that if in the case that he found us lying dead on his land to burn the van and our bodies,
for our mothers sake.
The next morning a stray dog fell in love with us all.

We were off the next morning early,
we stopped off at a 7 eleven to fill up on gas,
There was a hose on the side of the gas station,
and it had been awhile since we had bathed ourselves.
So we stripped down, and soaked our sun bleached bodies,
with the beauty which is water.

We played the show in Dallas for a humble crowd of 25-30.
They were kinder than we could have asked for.
The show lasted late and we weren't back on the road until 2:00 am.
At which time we headed towards Austin. We made it about and hour outside
of Dallas until we pulled off at a rest stop, at which we pulled out our sleeping bags,
and fell asleep to the sound of racing highways and barking birds.
The morning has come, and we are fortunate enough to still be alive,
and well, and rested, and happy, and
always, always, always.

joshua (and brothers)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Beatiful Start to a Beautiful Life (Day One)

yet again,
the wild,
the untamed.
the Dirty.
the unashamed.

Again, we (we being six)
have ventured to the great
river that is unforgiving (the road)
bold, and beautiful
lush, and true.

We (we being six)
left on a the beautiful morning of
June 10th,
love in our hearts,
song on our breath.
45 minutes into the drive..

ran out of gas..
incredibly humiliating,
Kissel (drummer boy) and myself hitched into the nearest
town to purchase some gasoline.
we hitched back,
put in the gasoline,
and we were on our way.

the first show of the tour was on a beautiful St. Georgian Farm
called Staheli Farm.
The crowd/people was absolutely phenomenal.
We are in love,
in love.
in love.

with the idea of freedom.
trueness, and love.

After the show we were fortunate enough to
receive the gift of sleep/salvation from a friend.
We were able to play ping pong a bit, and relax our minds.

We don't sound like anyone (we hope)
But if we do, we pray that they are sincere.

j. (and brothers)

Monday, June 2, 2008

TOUR and a place to lay our heads (again)

We (six of us) are headed out to the east coast, mid west, west coast, south land, etc. to share songs across the country we are in desperate need of places to stay while on the great highway for we will have no money for hotels and such things, if there are any kind folks out there with whom we could lay our heads it would be overly appreciated.
We will be playing in the following cities:

6/14 Dallas, TX (The Loft)
6/15 Austin, TX (Stubb's)
6/16 Houston, TX (Warehouse Live)
6/18 Memphis, TN (Hi Tone Cafe)
6/19 Birmingham, AL (Workplay Theatre)
6/20 Knoxville, TN (World Grotto)
6/21 Atlanta, GA (Smith's Olde Bar)
6/22 Nashville, TN (3rd and Lindsley)
6/24 Orlando, FL (The Social)
6/25 Miami, FL (Studio A)
6/26 Tampa, FL (Orpheum)
6/27 Jacksonville, FL (Jack Rabbits)
6/28 Athens, GA (Melting Point)
6/30 Charleston, SC (Village Tavern)
7/1 Chapel Hill, NC (Local 506)
7/2 Asheville, NC (Grey Eagle)
7/3 Charlotte, NC (Evening Muse)
7/6 Arlington, VA (IOTA)
7/7 Baltimore, MD (8x10)
7/8 Philadelphia, PA (World Cafe Live)
7/9 Poughkeepsie, NY (The Loft)
7/10 Hartford, CT (Webster Underground)
7/11 Buffalo, NY (Canal Concert Series)
7/12 Albany, NY (Valentines)
7/13 Allston, MA (Great Scott)
7/14 New York City, NY (Cutting Room)
7/16 Grand Rapids, MI (The Intersection)
7/17 Pittsburgh, PA (Club Cafe)
7/18 Indianapolis, IN (Radio Radio)
7/19 Chicago, IL (Beat Kitchen)
7/20 Ann Arbor, MI (The Ark)
7/22 Milwaukee, WI (Shank Hall)
7/23 Minneapolis, MN (Varsity)
7/24 Omaha, NE (Waiting Room)
7/25 Kansas City, MS (The Record Bar)

7/26 through 8/14

will include dates in Colorado, Utah, Washington, Oregon, California, Arizona, New Mexico, so keep your eyes and minds open.

If you could reach a helping hand in any of the stated dates it would help out very much, please just send me a message so that we might be able to make plans accordingly.


joshua (and five willing friends)

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Trust Me, You Don't Want In On This!

Long time since last i wrote anything.
Well.. be as it may.
I am here now (either in spirit or non)
and collectively being here
well an accomplishment (the least amount of words POSSIBLE)
Very excited for May.
We will be opening some shows for
the grammy winners
Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova.

The lord only knows how these things happen.
Nebraska boy vs. a grammy winner.
i will play it with my might..and all of it.

June and July are coming up very soon here.
and we will be playing in most every state in this Northern Hemisphere
or mostly just in the U.S.of A.
traveling is such a release.
sharing and working even more so.
we will be doing the shows as a fully band
5 of us.
There is no new record yet.
well there is, but it will not be out by this tour.
But there will def. be some songs played from the new record.
(horses held)
i hope love is prosperous for all of us on this beautiful day
honest to goodness.
life is bliss.


Friday, March 21, 2008

Call Me A Liar, Call Me, oh Call Me.

I have been.
or just haven't written.
Hard to say.
Here i am though.
Great news, great good news.
We will be leaving on tour for a good long
starting June 3rd,
starting in Portland, Oregon.
and hitting almost every major
city in the united states of america.
Very excited about it all.
very oh very.
I get confused so often though.
Plant your feet to the ground isn't what i say, but do.
quite phenomenal the feeling.

I recently played two shows in Provo, UT (A lonely night)
at VELOUR live music gallery.
Some of my most favorite shows that i have ever played were those.
If there is anyone reading this that went to support, thank you.
THank you, THank you, THank you.
honest to goodness ...and now a quote.
for old times sake...

"You try and take what they have stolen,
or try and break what can't be broken,
you can speak what you believe,
but every thought comes preconceived,
We try and wash our hand from this
clear our conscience and dismiss,
pretend these problems don't exist,
we're taking aspirin for a broken wrist"

love you all.
forever and ever.
till death i suppose

Friday, February 29, 2008

Wilted Daisies in Winter, or That is a bad break


Wilted Daisies Then.

Pretty pretty wilted daisies
All in a row.
On top of Mt. Vernon
In the dirty snow.
Where the shadows sing of sunshine
Like a dying crow
Pretty pretty wilted daisies
All in a row.


Monday, February 25, 2008

A Portable Telephone in one Hand, and...

Seems to me things are all coming at once.
But they have always i suppose.
or is supposing.


fair it is.

I can't help but be upset.
or dilusioned.
it doesn't matter how i spell it anyways.
i am trying to connect.
this is me screaming.
digitally to you, through you.
because only
you am i am able to relate.
so please!!!
here me!
this is me relating.
for the love of all that we might hold.
or else none of the above.
may it hold it to our


Saturday, February 23, 2008

Love in time of Winter, or welcome to the machine

A wise man once wrote:
Love is the essence of feeling without knowing which is the answer.

Let us hope that a wise man wasn't wrong.
that a wise man was true.
but at the same time...

I am very excited to be playing in Provo, UT soon.
March 14th.
There will be tickets sold at Velour until the day of the show.

I am so happy to be.
to be.
that is all there is.
and not being.
so BE