Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Russian Mafia on the plane ride home.

oh my.
I just got home from London, England.
How amazing it was.
The food, the people, the music.
I can't properly describe everything that happened.
So, I won't.
Despite the fact that the trip was amazing,
the trip home was...well...
and LONG.

We woke up at 5am (London time) to get ready to head to the airport.
The trip to the airport was just fine.
Upon entering into airport security i was immediately searched.
My bags torn open and things spread out.
It took me honestly thirty minutes just to pack my backpack.
It was quite difficult to make everything fit.
After nothing harmful was found in my bags
i was permitted to head to the gate.
Upon arriving about 200 feet from the gate there was yet another search.
My bag was reopened and searched for a second time.
At this point of the trip i was frustrated.
But, i understand.
Better safe than sorry.
We boarded the train, and soon enough we were sailing smoothly across the world
towards NYC. We arrived to New York City safe and sound.
Despite the fact that i was subjected to a terrible movie.
I believe it was called "The invention of Lying"
that is me being as honest as abe.
The plane ride was seven hours to NYC.

we had a FIVE HOUR LAY OVER in New York City.
Son of a b.... it was terrible.
and waiting,
and looking,
and listening.
It really was torturous.
But alas, we made it through.

We boarded the last plane to head to SLC.
I was sitting in my assigned seat, which was
31D, this was an aisle seat.
I was sitting there, calm, collected, peaceful,
waiting for the rest of the passengers to take their seats.
he appeared.
from the midst of the front of the plane,
a gigantic, crunchy faced, trench coat wearing mafia man.
As he came closer, i had no doubt that he would be the one to
be sitting next to me.
and i was right.

Now this man did NOT speak english.
he looked at me and grunted as he pointed to the inside middle seat.
So i calmly unbuckled my seat belt and stood up, so that he would
be able to seat himself.
The man looked at me and half smiled as he pushed me (literally pushed)
to the middle seat. I was confused.
Was he assuming that i would just take that sort of treatment,
that i would just cave?
Damn that man!
he was right, i did cave.
what i ninnie i have become.
The whole plane trip home he would say things in some dark obscure language
that noone including myself understood.
He bullied the stuartesses into giving him free wine.
It was an outrageous scene.

As the plane landed he forced his way to the front to be the first person off
of the plane.
I can't say i was sad when he left my side.
The trip home was a torture.
But, i am home.

to the world we owe everything!
forget me not kindness.



Anonymous said...

glad to hear you made it home safely at least. hope to see you back in europe soon. preferably in sweden. then i'll be there!

Jay Tighe said...

Good man, Josh. At least you have a good story. Thanks for coming to London and glad you're home safe.

Drew+Elise said...

well why didn't you scoot over so he could have the aisle seat!?!?

just kidding.